


Just like you

by KnittingNepeta



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Character Death, F/F, F/M, M/M, Mental Instability, Mental Institutions, Post Sburb/Sgrub, Rape, Sadstuck, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-01
Updated: 2014-08-24
Packaged: 2018-01-27 20:47:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1722038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KnittingNepeta/pseuds/KnittingNepeta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are sixteen teenagers to be found at Skaia Mental Institute.  This is their story of how they deal with their problems and get freedom.  There will be sad pasts found out.  There will be violence and hatred.  Will all of them be able to get free?  Read and found out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introductions

_I saw myself standing over some weird creature who was gray with horns. One of his horns was broken and the other looked like an arror. I snapped a bow in half and wraped the string around his neck and pulled it tight. I noted blue blood pooling out his knee with an arrow through it. The creature fell dead with his face blue. My other self whis was gray with curly horns laughed menicely at what he had done. Seconds later I saw a cat like creature spring from the grate. I wanted to scream run but I couldn't. My other self grabbed the creature from the air by hr wrist hard enough to snap it. I then ran its claws down my face honking. I drew my clubs and beat the girl to death._

      Gamzee sat up soaked in sweat and breathing heavily. Why does he keep having that dream? Why was he always gray with horns? _You are worthless_. The voices are already starting. Why wasn't the medicine working? How long would he have to be in this stupid hell hole of Skia mental institute. Gamzee sighed it was time for breakfast. He left his room that he shared with a grumpy guy named Karkat. Karkat was here because he thought he was going to get killed for his blood. He felt people watching him and tried to kill himself a few times to get the people to leave him alone. Gamzee felt like he knew him from somewhere. Gamzee felt bare without his make-up but they didn't allow it here. He grabbed his tray of food and sat in the lounge. Karkat and John were there arguing about movies as always. Kanaya and Rose were talking about fashion and things. Dave and Tavros were rapping. Tavros always made Gamzee's heart pound faster. He sat down and began to eat. He distanced himself from others he just had a feeling that people didn't like him. Dave smiled smugly at Gamzee. He really wanted to punch Dave in his smug face. He really didn't want to be put in the time out room so early. The shot to calm him down didn't work on him it only riled him up more. Dave leaned in and kissed Tavros' cheek. Tavros blushed and smile a smile that could light up the whole room. Gamzee hated the fact that Tavros was with that prick. Dave was here because he was narcissistic with severe depression. _Kill him._ Tavros was here because he suffered from severe depression and paralyzed himself by jumping off a cliff. Rose and Feferi were here because they heard the voices of the elder gods speaking to them and never spoke in coherent sentences. Rose also believed she could tell the future and Feferi thought she could live under water and almost drowned. Kanaya was here because she tried to attack someone with a chainsaw after they killed her mother. She seemed much happier then when she came in here because of Rose.

       After Gamzee are he was called to see his doctor Doc. Scratch. He smiled what was supposed to be a comforting smile but he failed. He asked about the voices and Gamzee told him they were as loud as ever. _Strangle him._ He told him he was still having that nightmare where he is a grey creature and he was killing two other gray creatures. He told him he wanted the voices to stop. He got up and yelled at Doc. Scratch to make them stop. He told Gamzee he would change his medicine to try to reduce the clown's symptoms. Gamzee went to the lounge room and saw Vriska and Terezi were playing some game. Vriska was were because her multiple-personality killed someone. Terezi is here because she thinks she is blind and licks and sniffs stuff in an attempt to see. Sollux was out of his room which is a rare thing. Sollux and Aradia heard voices like Gamzee but they were different. Sollux said that his voices were of people who were on their way to die. Aradia said she could hear the dead, she was pretty creepy. John was here because he believed he was a god who could troll the wind. Jade acted like a dog because she had live so long with just a dog to watch her. Eridan was here because he wanted to cause mass genocide on people who he deemed unworthy. He was very close to Feferi that he sometimes got jealous of her boyfriend Sollux.  
Gamzee sat in a chair not really focusing on anything. He didn't really talk to anyone they seemed to stay away from him. Everyone but Karkat, he was the only one who would get close to him. It was like they had seen him do something bad that he hadn't done. Sure he heard voices but he had never hurt anyone because of them. At least he thinks he had never hurt anyone because of the. There were a lot of holes in his memory. Sometimes he will wake up in places he doesn't remember going to. That only happened when he went a long time with smoking. He often slept walked but they were quick to wake him up when he started to do anything. The doors open and two new people were brought into the unit. Gamzee froze when he saw them and they did the same thing. It couldn't be......


	2. Nepeta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter we meet Nepeta and Equius two new patients in Skaia mental institute. These two come face to face with some people who tug at their memory in a good way and in a bad way. Next chapter we go into Dave's mind.

     Your name is Nepeta Leijon and you are entering Skaia mental institue with you closest friend Equius Zahhak. You are here because you have nightmares of a dog with wings, one arm, and a sword killing you. You also tended to kill small animals for no other reason but to kill them. You sometimes painted with their blood. You have had it every night for a year. Equius is here because of his anger issues and he couldn't be without you. He would be a danger to everyone if you were separated for a long time. He built robots to keep him calm but sometimes he needed the comfort of his friend to feel better. You got up to the unit that held fourteen other patients. There was one patient peeking out at them both you and Equius froze. You don't know why but you knew that patient was trouble. He was bad, he would hurt you. You stood in front of Equius and hissed. You were cat like which was another reason why you were here. The patient stared at you a look of shock on his face. He stepped closer and you growled glaring at him. He moved back staring at me confused. The nurse told the patient who you learn later on that his name is Gamzee to go back into the lounge so they could finish the signing in process. They headed to the front desk to finish the signing in process. Once that was done you and Equius sat in the meeting room watching the TV in the room. There some people around. One of the females seemed so familiar that you had to give her your signature pounce hug greeting. She gave you a strange stare but the she smiled that made my heart beat faster. Equius pulled you off her and said sorry for your poor behavior. You stuck your tongue out at him, he wasn't the boss of you. The girl laughed and said her name was Aradia Megido. Once she said her name you got and image in your head of a gray girl that looked like her. She had long wavy black hair that stuck up in places and she had ram horns, she was wearing what looked to be red pajamas with a gear on the front of them. You shook your head of the weird image. She patted your head and smiled at you. You went to the front desk and asked for a paper and pencil. You had a passion for drawing. You sat down at the the table and began to draw the image you saw. Equius looked over your shoulder as you drew. He liked to draw blue prints for robots he was really good at it but he never drew like you did. He might find it fun if he tried it. He never tried to have fun he was such a stick in the mud. He was your best friend and really made you happy. You had been friends since you were young you had an unbreakable bond. You both count on each other for emotional support. The word moirail ran across your thoughts confusing you. What is a moirail? Is that even a real word? You shrugged once you finished your drawing you signed your name. You smiled and showed it to Equius to see what he thought. He said it was a good drawing and it looked like Aradia. You nodded and said you saw the image of her like this once she said her name. You put it aside and began to draw you and Equius but you were drawing you in a different way. It was you and him with horns and weird clothes. You had small cat ear like horns and a blue hat on. You were wearing a long trench coat and a black shirt with the Leo symbol on it. Equius had an arrow like horn and one of them was broken. He had missing teeth and he was wearing a tank top. He just looked silly. You started to laugh as you drew this and he looked at it and frowned. He told you to stop being silly and you frowned. You feel Equius tense up and you turn and look seeing Gamzee standing there. You jump up and stand in front of Equius.  
     "What do you want?" You hiss out  
     "Can't a motherfucker come get his drink on." He replied  
     "I am watching you, stay away from me and Equius."  
     "Awww nepsis I ain't going do anything to hurt you or equius."  
      "How did you know my name?"  
     "I don't motherfucking know."  
     "I don't trust you." You said  
     "I haven't done nothing to make you mistrust this mother fucker."  
     You were about to say something but a nurse came in and said it was dinner time. You and Equius went to get food and you shot mistrustful looks at Gamzee. You and Equius ate together talking about animals and stuff. He was talking about robots when a girl bound over and started to talk about robots with him. Her name was Jade she seemed really nice. She barked sometimes which made you jump and feel your imaginary tail puff up. Once dinner was done we got our medicine and you headed to your room that you shared with a nice girl named Feferi. You tried to talk to her but she didn't make a lot of sense. She talked a lot about the elder gods and horror terrors. You would have been more scared if she didn't add the fish puns into her sentences. You fell asleep hoping tomorrow would be better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this chapter. I figured Nepeta hunting small animals and killing them would fit her purrfectly since she is a hunter. I made them not like Gamzee because I understand he felt threatened but they were my babies and he killed them. I will try to to be to mean to him though. Thank you for reading.


	3. Dave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your name is Dave and you remember.

_I saw myself standing on a planet covered in snow.  I was with Jade gathering frogs to make the genesis frog.  All of a sudden the dog demon appeared.  Jade started to shoot him and I attacked him with my sword.  What he did next neither of us saw coming he used his space powers to teleport the bullets.  They went through him right into you.  You were taking a berage of bullets.  It hurt the pain was so bad but you still stood.  You had to protect Jade.  She was strong enough to protect herself but you had to help.  The dog demon left and the bullets stopped and you fell to the floor in pain._

You sat up with a jolt.  What was that memory?  Those stupid nightmares, you were too cool to have them.  So why were you having then?  Your name is Dave Strider and you are in Skaia mental institute. You have narcissistic personality, depression, and bad nightmares. You sometimes wake your roommate Sollux with your sleep talking. During the day you hang out with your boyfriend Tavros which seems to make Gamzee jealous. You don't really like Gamzee he is just weird and doesn't seem to get along with a lot of the people here. You really like Tavros he is so easy to make blush and he has a huge fondness for Pokemon. He likes to rap and likes peter pan a little to much. You don't know why it just draws you to him. He is just so calm and caring you are glad he is yours. Your sister Rose likes to flirt with Kanaya how Kanaya can understand her surprises her. Her and her elder god talk is so weird. You go out into the lounge area and sit with Tavors. He is talking to Gamzee, for some reason that makes you nervous. Not that he would leave you for that clown. You are Dave Strider you are amazing who wouldn't want to be with you. You see Jade talking to some new person. He must have just got here. Terezi was talking to a new girl. It seemed like they were role playing. You often saw her role playing with Vriska. You turn and look at Tavros he seems to be having fun with Gamzee maybe you should join in. You start to go over to where they are when you run into Karkat. He was this small grumpy dude who tended to scratch himself up. They had to keep his nails trimmed or else she will start cutting himself up with them. You haven't talked to him a lot he is really loud when he talks.  
"WATCH WHERE YOU ARE GOING STRIDER." Karkat yelled  
"its so hard to not run into someone who admires me." You said.  
"FUCK YOU STRIDER I DON'T ADMIRE YOU, NO ONE HERE ADMIRES YOU."  
"awww did karkitty miss his nap"  
"DON'T CALL ME KARKITTY."  
"well i am going to go see you later karkitty." You said  
"FUCK YOU STRIDER" he yelled  
You laughed and went to Tavros and kissed his cheek. He blushed and gave Gamzee an apologetic look. You frowned at that he had nothing to be sorry for. You just wanted to remind Gamzee that he was yours. You got called to go see your doctor Jack Noir. He was a real ass but he would help you to get better. When you got in he told you to sit your ass down. He asked about your depression and you said it had got a little better but you still feel depressed sometimes. He nodded and decided to up your medicine a little bit. He then told you to get your ass out of his office. What an asshole. You wanted to get out of here as soon as possible. You wanted to go back to your shitty apartment where you could have strifes with your brother. You even miss that creepy puppet of his. Being in the hospital wasn't so bad since you have Tavros but that doesn't stop you from being homesick. You talked with John for a little bit. He was a huge dork talking about the crappy movies he watched. He was a huge fan of Nic Cage and you teased him about that. He was with Vriska. You have no idea what he saw in her she was a huge bitch. You didn't like her because she would pick on Tavros for being paralyzed and sometimes would knock him out of his wheel chair.  
You talked to John for a little bit but once you got bored you went to talk to Terezi. She was really cool even if she was a little weird. She liked to lick you and say how she could taste your candy red blood and she could smell your red eyes. It freaked you out a little bit but you still liked to hang out with her. You tended to draw little comics for each other. She was like your second best friend in here. You and her got really close and you started to kiss her on the cheek and she would kiss your cheek or nose. You soon realized you had developed a crush on this red haired girl with a licking problem. You broke things off with Tavros and got with Terezi. It was hard to take for a little while you hated see him sad but you had more of a connection with Terezi. After a while he got with Gamzee who seemed to make him happier then you ever could. That night you didn't have your normal nightmare of you dying. You saw yourself in this red pajamas with a gear on the front of them with a creature who looked like Terezi only with black hair and horns. She had red glasses on and she was sniffing you. It looked like you were on a rock or something floating out in space. You slept for the whole night for once with no nightmares. It shocked you it had been a really long time since you had been able to sleep without a nightmare. It kind of made you happy. You were to great to have nightmares anyway. Maybe they learned who they were dealing with.  
A week after the nightmares stopped you were released from Skaia mental institute. You depression had been beaten and you had lost some of your narcissistic personality. You went home back to the shitty apartment with your bro. You still kept in touch with John, Terezi, Rose, Tavros, and Sollux. You kind of missed them in an ironic kind of way. You had given each other your pesterchums so when they got out they could pester each other. You were glad to be home but you had a feeling that you were forgetting something important. You sat on your bed looking around your room you felt something was different. Your bro called you for dinner. You smelt pizza and left your room. You were sitting at the table when it all hit you. You remembered everything you remembered the game, the destruction, the tumor, the meteor, and the dream bubbles. You fell out of your seat causing bro to worry. He asked what was wrong you said nothing. You ran to your room not bothering to eat and signed onto pesterchum.  
TG: remember the game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I worked really hard on this chapter I hope you like it. I plan to make each chapter end with them leaving Skaia mental institute. Please forgive any spelling mistakes. Thank you for reading. <3


	4. Eridan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is a bit of Eridan.

_I saw myself gray with lighten shaped horns. You had on a black t-shirt, with stripped pants, bowling shoes, and a purple cape. You throw the cape off and face a grey creature with four horns and 3D glasses. He took the glasses off and his eyes were sparking. You raised your wand and flung white magic at the creature. He released eye blast but your magic was more powerful and he hit a wall and got knocked out. A female holding a tridant glared at you and you shot her through the stomach. She looked a lot like Feferi._   
     You shot up in bed breathing heavily. Your name is Eridan Ampora and you are in Skaia mental institute for your genocide plans and your manic bi-polar disorder. You believed that everyone was beneath you except for Feferi. You loved Feferi but she was with Sollux. You really hated Sollux even though you don't really know him enough to hate. You try to stay away from him but he is always with Feferi. It is hard to talk to her with him around. He likes to make smart remarks about how you are a hipster and stuff. You went to the lounge area where Feferi and Sollux where there talking to Aradia. You glare at Sollux but he doesn't notice. You sit at a table alone and ate. You took your medicine to help you with your bi-polar disorder. It seemed to help a lot you didn't always feel like you wanted to kill everyone. You also felt a lot happier. You often sat by your self reading your Harry Potter books. You were very fasinated with magic, you even had a wand collection at home. Feferi came over to you as you were reading. She left Sollux to talk to Aradia.  
     "Hey fef howw are you?" You asked.  
     "Fine" she answered  
     "Wwhy aren't you wwith sol?"  
     "your my frond too. the elder gods told me to talk to you."  
     "Still going on about the elder gods."  
     "They whisper to me about changing the world."  
     "you are vvery creepy sometimes."  
     "You could help."  
     "Fef can't we go back to howw things wwere wwhen wwe wwere little."  
     "so you won't join?"  
     "no." You said.  
     "Bye." Feferi said  
     You sighed you really missed how you use to be. You and her use to be so close and you use to watch movies together but then she started talking about the elder gods. You began to read again missing how close they were. You liked to talk to Karkat he was grumpy but nice. He liked to talk about romantic comedies and about coding. He wasn't good at coding but he still tried. You liked him he was like your best friend in here. You went to see your doctor and he asked about your homicidel thoughts. You said you don't have them anymore and you don't feel depressed anymore. You also told him you didn't think you were better then anyone other than Sollux. He frowned about that but he let it go. After a few days you were released and you with home to your dad. You were sitting on your computer when you remembered. You remembered the game, being on the meteor, trolling the humans, killing Feferi and Kanaya, and being chopped in half. You went on to pesterchum to pester Feferi.   
                 caligulasAquarium began pestering cuttlefishCuller  
     CA: fef i am so sorry  
     CA: i hope you can forgivve me  
     CA: i wwill nevver be able to forgivve myself  
     CA: i am so sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for how horrible this chapter is. I tried hard not to make him fanon but I am not good with Eridan. I will try to make it up in the next chapter. I am so sorry. OnO


	5. Equius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is how Equius falls in love with Jade.

               Your name is Equius and you are enjoying you talk with the dog girl Jade.  Nepeta sat beside you talking to the “blind” girl Terezi.  You watched Nepeta and her friend carefully you wouldn’t want anything to happen to your closest friend.  You and Jade make up plans to meet up afterwards and maybe build a robot together.  You ordered Nepeta to stay away from the one known as Gamzee you had a bad feeling about him.  You also wanted him to order you around.  Just seeing him makes you sweat.  Nepeta tended to draw gray creatures with horns.  They looked like the people here but different.  You tried talking to the beautiful girl Aradia but she was normally talking to Sollux, Nepeta, or Terezi.  You talked to Nepeta and Jade more than anyone else.  You and Jade got pretty close you were happy to find someone he had something in common with.  You loved Nepeta but she didn’t really understand the art of mechanics.  You noticed how beautiful Jade was.  Her sparkling green eyes just glowed with joy even though she was in this depressing place.  Her beautiful onyx hair waved with cow licks and curls.  She was always smiling and trying to make everyone feel better.  You couldn’t help but feel a little attracted to her.  She also made you feel less angry as Nepeta did.  You told her about how you almost killed someone she didn’t seem to mind.  She didn’t have an issue that he had anger issues.  He seemed to get over them since being in here.  You also helped Nepeta with her problem hoping that you would be released at the same time.  You grew to love Jade not that you could tell her that.  What girl would be into a sweaty freak like him?  You smile at Jade as you talk to her.  You tell her how you met Nepeta and how you became friends.  You told her how you would be in jail if it weren’t for Nepeta.    You told her about how you build robots to fight to help keep your temper in control.  She listened to everything and didn’t judge you.  She said she found you interesting.  She told you how she lived on the island with just her dog Bec.  She said her grandpa died in a hunting trip and she had no other family to take her in.  It made you a little sad.  You were talking one day and as you went back to see your doctor he said that you seemed stable enough to be released.  You didn’t want to go home yet.  You couldn’t go home not without Nepeta and you would feel lonely without Jade.  When you told Nepeta and Jade they both seemed happy.  Nepeta was also told that she would be released soon.  When the day came Jade and Nepeta were the only one who came to see you off.  Nepeta hugged you and told you to be safe and not to cause trouble.  Jade smiled and blushed as she stood on her tippy toes to give him a kiss on the cheek.  He blushed as he kissed the top of her head and gave her his number for her to call him.  When he got home he went to start a new project when he got a splitting head ache as memories started to flood his mind.  He remember everything from the beginning of the game known of Sgrub to the end.  He remembered how he let himself be killed in front of his moirail Nepeta watched him from the grate.  You log on to pester chum and pester Nepeta.

CT:  -- >  nepeta I am so sorry

CT: -- >  it was very wrong of me to leave you the way I did

CT:  -- >  I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry if this chapter isn't that good it is hard for me to get some of these characters right.

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to write this while I was in the mental institute. I tried to make all of the problems as in character as I could. This was a little insight on Gamzee. Each chapter will be about different characters. This was the introduction to what disoders the sixteen former Sburb/Sgrub players. Will they remember the lives they had before. Who do you think Gamzee saw that shocked him so much?


End file.
